Make Believe or Pretending to be Who Your Aren’t

I have a different view of Halloween than some pastors. I know most churches have Harvest Festivals instead of Halloween Festivals but they are the same thing. I know churches try to stay away from the idea of celebrating October 31 but I say use it. The church I’ve been working with have had Trunk-or-Treat events (kids go from car to car in our parking lot asking for candy) on the evening of October 31 for 4 of the 6 years I’ve been with them. We have the parking lot lights on, have hot cider and chocolate, and the last two years a few games and rides. It’s neat to see the different costumes that are worn.

I like to know the history or origins of things and words. Here’s a short history on why costumes are part of Halloween. The first Halloween costumes were rudimentary cloaks and disguises worn so travelers would resemble the wandering spirits of the dead. For this reason, costumes representing ghosts, skeletons and other morbid characters have long been the most standard costumes. In ancient times, people set out food and drinks for the dead souls, so the costumes also served as a means of gathering food from people's doorsteps. In the 19th century, churches in England popularized the baking and distribution of "soul cakes," which were traded in exchange for prayers made on behalf of their departed loved ones. Currant cakes were especially loved by children and, over time, the holiday's focus shifted from a celebration of the dead to a game of children looking for sweets. As the child-friendly version of Halloween spread through English-speaking countries via immigration and literature, costumes grew less morbid and more playful.

I know most people think wearing a costume and pretending to be someone or something else is only for children for one day a year; however, adults do it everyday. People pretend to be happy when they aren’t; they pretend to have it all together when life as they know is crumbling around them; they pretend to be fulfilled when they are in fact looking anyway and everywhere for the “meaning of life.” The whole pretending game isn’t just for the secular world; the church has our own set of pretenders. People come to church with a facade up; couples have been fighting about something on the way to church to only come in with fake smiles on their face. People going through hell during the week saying they are doing great or fine and turn the “How are your doing?” question around to someone else. In our men’s small group, the men know that they are not able to say fine when I ask how they are doing because the word “F.I.N.E.” to me stands for Feels Internalized Not Expressed. No faking it in the men’s small group.

The word that gets thrown around a lot about church goers who pretend to be well when they aren’t is “Hypocrite.” The word hypocrite has it origins in ancient Greek. The meaning of this word is saying a person is acting or being an actor. The actors of this time would wear large paper mache masks that showed different emotions. When an actor needed to show sadness, he wore a mask that shows sadness; when he needed to show happiness, he wore a mask that had a big smile; and so on. The main problem with wearing paper mache masks all the time is that they are made out of paper and start to tear and split. The upkeep on them is too much for people to endure; however, they see it as being better then showing people their true selves out of fear of rejection.

The church is a family and a family accepts their members as they are. The only person who is prefect is Jesus Christ; no one in the church is prefect. Not the pastor, the deacons, the Sunday School teacher, no one is. We are all flawed humans who need a Savior and once saved it takes time to grow in our relationship with our Savior. Being part of a church is to be part of a community of Christ-followers who should love one another and accept each other as they are but also help them grew in their relationship with Christ.

Let’s let the masks stay a Halloween thing and leave them off the other 364 days of the year. God saved you as you were with all the baggage, scares, winkles, and blemishes. He is molding you into a useable vessel; sometimes that has pain involved. Don’t pretend; be who you are and God’s people will love you regardless. But remember; you have to love your brothers and sisters in Christ for who they are; with all the baggage, scares, winkles, and blemishes. Church should be a “No Pretending Zone.”

Some Take Aways from “Replenish”

I’ve been reading “Replenish” by Lance Witt. I’m in the middle of the second unit; has four main units and 41 chapters. The book is very good and it makes me rethink how I’ve conducted my life in the ministry to date. Last night I read chapter 14 which is titled “It’s All About The Groom.” I want to highlight some points that made me think and examined how I view my role an Elder/Pastor in the church.

In our modern day, the wedding is all about the bride. The parents of the bride go into debt to make sure their little princess has a fairytale wedding. The dress needs to be prefect; the location must be prefect; everything must be prefect. The bride walks down the main row of seats; the focus is on the bride as she makes her way to the front. It’s her day after-all. The groom is almost an afterthought. The groom wears a rented tux that some other guy will wear the next weekend. He comes in the side entrance and stands waiting for the bride to make her appearance.

The way we do weddings today is quite different from the weddings of the Bible; especially the relationship between Jesus Christ and His bride, the church. The wedding scene we see in Revelation has the focus on the groom (the Lamb; Jesus Christ) and not the bride (the church). All the scripture passages that have a wedding theme always focuses on the groom and not the bride. The bride (the church) belongs to the groom (Jesus Christ). That’s not only a statement about ancient marriage ritual; it’s also a great picture of the relationship between the church and Jesus.

In most churches, the spotlight has shifted from being on the groom to being on the bride. The way some churches conduct their ministries is almost to say, look at us and see what we have to offer instead of look at the Savior and see what He has done for us and what He can do for you. I agree with Lance where he writes, “As a pastor . . . my job is to watch after the bride on behalf of the groom. I am like a spiritual wedding coordinator. The coordinator’s job is to assist and serve the bride and the groom, behind the scenes, in making their wedding day a meaningful event.”

As an Elder/Pastor, I should never do anything that blocks the bride’s view of the Groom’s glory. The challenge for any/all pastors is to get out of the way so the bride will be awestruck by the majesty of her Groom. One of the indicators (according to Lance Witt) of spiritual disease in a church leader is a possessive spirit about the bride. I’ve used words like “my church” or “our church” when talking about Common Ground thinking nothing about it.

Another statement made by Lance stood out when I was reading chapter 14; “It’s helpful for me to remind myself regularly that the church is not “mine.” I am a steward . . . Yes! I am a shepherd . . . Yes! I am a leader . . . Yes! But, I am not the owner, CEO, title-holder, or groom of the church.” The bride belongs to the bridegroom. An Elder/Pastor should see our role as a steward on behalf of the groom, who’s asked us to look after His bride until he comes for her.

The book has made me reexamine on how I see my role as an Elder and pastor. It’s made me see where I have fallen short not according to what man says is productive but what God (in His Word) says. For a church to be healthy, the pastor must be healthy. A healthy church reaches the lost for Christ because they see what they want in us. I need to be less so Christ is more.

John Piper says, “Christ does note exist to make much of us. We exist in order to enjoy making much of Him.”

A Good Read



Last week at the SBCV Power Lunch for pastors, a good was talked about called “Replenish” by Lance Witt. The following day, a PowerPoint presentation was sent to me covering the topics of the book. It wet my apatite a little so I ordered this book. The book arrived yesterday and my plan is to start it today. I’ve read the forward by John Ortberg (I enjoy reading his books) so I’m really looking forward to the read. I’ll talk (or write) more on my thought about the book after I read it. Below is what is in the presentation; areas in which the book covers. If this looks like something that might interest you, check it out.

“When it comes to the church, you can’t separate leadership from the leader. You can’t divorce the message from the messenger. Yet we can become quite adept at projecting an image that does not accurately reflect what’s going on inside of us.

Godly leadership is always inside out. God always has and always will choose to smile on men and women who are healthy, holy and humble.

In our culture we have swallowed hook, line, and sinker the lie that busyness equals importance.

No one is holding a gun to our heads, forcing us to over-commit and over-schedule. As leaders, we must have the guts to start making some changes in our personal lives and church programs.

In ministry we need to recapture the word faithful. It is the nature of our world to be
enamored with what’s big. But in the church we should seek to be enamored with what’s godly.”

The above is just a little of what is in the presentation. I’ve read the first 7 chapters and it is a very good read; painful because it’s hitting me between my eyes. I will put my thoughts of the book as soon as I finish the book.

What A Great Day



I had a very manly and productive weekend. On Saturday, I finally got a physical exam (first one in 13 years) where I also got a flu shot. I’ll find out the lab results either today or tomorrow but everything seems good. Not bad for a 41 year old. I followed the exam up with taking Ripley (my almost 2 year old daughter) to our local library for what they call Two Time (music, story, and play time) so Teresa could go yard saling. After Two Time, Teresa met us at the house where she put Ripley down for her nap. While Ripley was sleeping, I got out my ax and chopped down a brush thing. It was a bush on steroids where half of it had an eight or ten inch trunk and was at least 10 feet tall; so not really a tree but more than a bush. I worked on it for a little over two hours; that’s chopping the thing down and started to dig up the stump and roots. The root base of this thing was three feet round and I had no idea how deep. I was dripping wet so I called it a day. It was great weather for it; mid 60’s. After church on Sunday, I took the shovel, my garden rake, and the ax and went back to work. It took almost 3 hours to dig and chop the root base up but I was victorious. The root base was 2 feet in the ground and kept going so I made sure the bush wouldn’t grow back and hauled the root base along with the pieces to the curb. I back filled the hole with the dirt I dug up plus some I bought. I have to say, I felt great about myself for getting it done. Plus I love the smell of fresh turned dirt.

When my head hit the pillow on Saturday night, my last thought was “What A Great Day.” It’s funny because that is the title of the last song on a TV show we allow Ripley to watch on NickJr called “The Fresh Beat Band.” To me it was a great day because I was able to get a lot done. The more I think about that last thought, the more I keep thinking that as a Christian everyday should be a great day.

As a Christian, we have prefect peace and the assurance of how we will end up after death. As a Christian, we should know that our Heavenly Father watches over us and provides for all our needs (not our wants but our needs). As a Christian, we have a Holy Spirit that gives us guidance and direction as we need it. As a Christian, we have our sin debt paid in full by our Lord Jesus Christ. While living in a world of uncertainty, we know that because of our relationship with God (the Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit; the three in One) we know that we are safe and secure so how can we not have a great day everyday.

Thank you Heavenly Father for loving me and making me your son; thank you Lord Jesus for paying my sin debt on the cross; and thank you Spirit for drawing me to the Father and giving me eyes to see my need for salvation and giving me ears to hear you calling me. Thank you for making me your man and I ask only that you will allow me to give my life back to you every minute of everyday of every week, month, and year of my life and beyond. I love You!

Uncle Buddy



Yesterday, my mom called and informed me that my dad’s oldest living brother died from cancer. He was fading for the last month; he stopped eating last week. My parents were in Kentucky for my dad’s sister’s husband’s funeral last week; he too died because of cancer. On their way home, my dad was able to spend some time with Uncle Buddy so he was able to say good-bye but according to my sister he is taking it hard. Uncle Buddy is the first to die of my dad’s siblings. The first born (Matthew) died after only a week back in the 1930’s, so there were 12 brothers and sisters; my dad is the 6th of the lot.

NOTE: My dad and his siblings are the photo to the left; Uncle Buddy is in blue in the middle row.

I know very little of my uncle; I never had a conversation with him even though he was present at the family events throughout my life. He was always standoffish to most of the extended family. He was only close to a few of his siblings. I do understand why he was the way he was. As I child, I would sit for hours listening to my uncles and aunts talking about how my grandfather was after Word War 2. Granddad was 36 years old when he was drafted (married with 6 children) and he was an Army medical in the Pacific. While serving, we had his nose broken by a Japanese soldier and during the hand-to-hand combat, he killed this soldier. He never got over it. Upon returning home from the war, he became a drunk. Granddaddy was a mean drunk. Uncle Buddy became the family protector when he was drinking. Evenly granddad became a Christian and stopped drinking all together. He finally found the peace he was seeking in the bottle in the person Christ Jesus.

The stories I heard was almost like something from a movie. Uncle Buddy became a daredevil in his 20‘s. I wonder it was because of him fighting granddad over his teen years. Uncle Buddy retired from being a captain in the local fire department. He raised horses; one almost killed him by kicking him in his back. He has to have surgery and got Hepatitis C through bad blood; it was the 1980’s (before they would screen the blood). The Hepatitis C destroyed his liver and he got a new one. While waiting for a new liver, he accepted Christ as his Savior and like my granddad was never the same. He was always standoffish but he used his days serving his Savior doing mission trips ever year.

I because of the witness of those who know him, I will see him again. Paul’s words in 1 Thessalonians 4 gives me this assurance that Uncle Buddy is with his parents; my grandparent in heaven.

God’s Plans For Me



‘”For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. – Jeremiah 29:11”

One of the hermeneutical rules when interpreting the Bible is to know to whom the author of a book to is writing. Not every scripture passage can or should be applied to a 21st century American Christian. The passage in Jeremiah above is clearly written to the children of Israel but I think that we can apply this to our lives. At least it encourages me when I read it. God has plans for me and I can trust Him to fulfill His plans.

God called me to preach His word when I was just 16 years old. He has carried me through some interesting situations over the years. In my late 20’s I tried to walk away from this calling after being burned by a pastor I was working for. The door was opened to work for a Fortune 500 Company so I was content with being a businessman but after a few years of this, God started working on me and He sent people my way to affirm His true calling in my life. I still work for the same Fortune 500 Company (over 12 years now). God has used this job to pay me as I serve as an Executive Pastor in a small church.

Part of my calling (I feel) is to pastor or shepherd God’s people. My passion is to see people grow in their relationship with Jesus Christ. I see the job of a pastor as equipping God’s people to grow in their walk with Christ and to be able to spiritually reproduce (sharing the gospel to the lost). I’ve been doing this very thing for the last 6 years as an Executive Pastor. The last year, I’ve started to desire the position of a senior or lead pastor of a church (1 Timothy 3:1 “It is a trustworthy statement: if any man aspires to the office of overseer [pastor], it is a fine work he desires to do.”). I do feel that the Holy Spirit has been working on me and my wife Teresa; laying the foundation that will be a partnership in leading a folk of God’s people.

In the last few months, I’ve talked with 4 different churches (via e-mail and telephone interviews). Nothing has come of these contacts, but I trust in God’s plans for me and my family. I know the door to be a pastor will open in God’s time because I know that is God’s plan for my life. I will continue to be faithful to serve in my current position and will continue to be faithful as He opens the doors.

Along with Jeremiah 29:11, Ephesians 2:10 (“For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them.”) encourages me as I follow the path God has put me on.

Trust In Jesus



There is a young lady I have as a “Friend” on FaceBook. I’ve known this young lady since she was 8 or 9 when her mother helped Teresa and me with the youth department way back in the late 1990’s early 2000’s. She was the sweetest little thing. At the time, I had in my church office a print of Bugs Bunny leading music hanging on my wall (I was Music/Youth Pastor) so she gave me a Bugs Bunny coffee cup for Christmas one year and a Bugs Bunny pen for my birthday the next year.

She’s in her early 20’s now and what I read on her postings makes me sad. Her parents left the church shortly before we did and I know they joined another church but that’s all I know what she has been up to from 2004 until now. Whatever it is, she is just not a happy camper these days. Her whole world seems to revolve around some guy and her job. It seems she allows things to get her down. Last week she posted that she wished that she was 21 so she could sit in her room and drink Jack Daniels to wash away her bad day. My sister and a few others wrote comments trying to encourage her and putting whatever the issue was on God and He will help her.

I read her wall this morning and it was the same doom and gloom I’ve been reading from her since we’ve been FaceBook “Friends.” I just want her to know that if she puts her trust in anything or anyone other than Jesus Christ, she will always be left wanting and/or disappointed.

We have all we will ever need (i.e. love, security, fulfillment, etc.) in Jesus Christ. He is willing and able to carry us through any and every storm that comes our way. Be they self created storms or God created ones; He can and will be with us through them. I think we cannot in our earthly form truly understand the love that Jesus Christ has for us. If we understand just a fraction of what it means to be loved by Christ, we can truly be happy and fulfilled people because our fulfillment is in the person Christ Jesus.

I Survived The Warrior Dash

The past Saturday (Oct 1), I ran in my last race of the season; the Warrior Dash. I’ve run in several trail/obstacle races and this is the toughest I’ve run in to date. Teresa told me that this is the first one she noticed that I showed signs of being tired afterward. It was tough. The t-shirt and metal I have from the race has “I survived the Warrior Dash” and I can say that this is more than a motto.

The race is only 3.5 miles but the obstacles are tough. The race is focused on showing your toughness like a Viking so the names of the obstacles reflect this ideal. The obstacles included Barricade Beakdown which is hurling over 8 4-foot walls with 8 crawling under barbed wire walls; Rubber Forest which is tires hanging and you run through pushing them out of the way; Road Rage which were three cars parked bummer to bummer and you had to climb over them but before and after the cars there were tires you had to run through like football practice; the next obstacle was, Chaotic Cross over which was crawling over tangled nets (the nets were 8 feet over the ground); Deadweight Drifter which was wading through waist to chest deep water and climbing over three huge logs; Teetering Traverse which was balancing up and down 6 inch beams; Deadman’s Drop (the craziest one for me) which was a 12 foot high wall you climbed up easy but on the other side you only had a 2x4 to hang from and drop 3 feet to the ground; Great Warrior Wall which was a 10 foot wall with a rope you had to climb up it (the other side was some slats the climb down); Rio Run which was at least 100 yards of wading through waist deep water of the James River ; Cargo Climb which was 15 foot high climb up and down; Warrior Roast which was leaping over two fire pits (yes fire pits); and lastly crawling through a mud pit. There were total of 12 obstacles that are designed to kill you or challenge you.

All and all it was a fun and tough race. The night before, I got an e-mail saying that Charles City would not issue the race a liquor permit so no beer would be severed. It was no big deal to me because I don’t drink but since the whole race centered on being a warrior beer and turkey wings were to be served. Since no beer was allowed, our parking was free ($10 savings) and I can run the race at another location this year or the 2012 races. We will see.

Below are some photos Teresa took. The photos from the official race will be ready after Oct 7. I’ll post those on Facebook.

The before picture; nice and clean>

Warrior in training.

Warrior hat; check.

Getting my mind ready for the race and trying to think warm thoughts. It was raining at 56 degrees. I warmed up real quick when the fire was releast. See video below.

The start of the Warrio Dash.

Getting to the top of the 15 ft cargo net.

Coming down the cargo net.

Making my way through the mud.

Dirty, muddy, and tired but I'm still able to smile for my ladies.