An Observation

I like to observe people and wonder who they are by seeing how they treat others around them. My parents are what I call people watchers. They enjoy sitting and watching people. I guess that’s where I get it from. I’ve noticed something at work that goes against what used to be the norm for our area. I live in Virginia and here people used to look each other in the eye and say hello or at least acknowledge you are near them. That’s the assumption that is made about the south; it’s the culture. It’s not the case anymore.

The last few weeks I’ve been going through a communication workshop. When all is said and done, I will have sat for 12 hours (4 3 hour sessions) learning the skill of communication and listening; I’m actually enjoying the workshop. The first 3 hour session we went over basic communication including the process of communicating. We discussed one component to the process; the filter. Our filters are not the same; they impact how we communicate. Filters are as unique as a figure print. Filters are preconceived notions or beliefs we have based on our heredity, culture, religion, gender, and the list can go on and on. As a group, we discussed the types of filters and the filter of culture was brought up. An assumption was made that the culture of New York City is that no one makes eye contact because of the business of the city (a transplanted New Yorker in the group agreed with that assumption) and that in the South, it was different; people are a bit more approachable. I think that concept has changed; at least in the Hampton Roads region of Virginia.

As an observer, I’ve noticed over the last year that almost no one makes eye contact in the hallways at work. People either look at the floor as they walk by you or at the opposite wall. I’ve caught myself doing the same thing. I have no idea why so I’ve been making myself look at people as I walk by them. I make sure I have a smile on my face so if they look up and make eye contact I say “good morning” or “hello.” It’s amazing to me how little people make eye contact. It blows my mind. What happened to what used to be the norm? I have no answer. What used to be the norm is now the exception. Go figure.